Cruz Supporters Distribute Campbell Soup at Bella Vista Polling Station

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A few weeks ago Ted Cruz’s wife Heidi revealed Ted’s soup obsession during CNN’s Town Hall.  She admitted that after they had gotten married and came home from their honeymoon, Trusted Ted bought 100 cans of Campbell’s Chunky soup back from the grocery store.

This was shocking to me, so we had a tough conversation about it. I said, “You don’t buy 100 of anything, much less canned soup. We can’t do this. I’ll be making things.” He said, “No, I know you. You won’t be making things.”

So the next morning, it was a weekend morning, I loaded up our car before he woke up and returned every single can. And when I got home, I called my mother just to make sure I’d done the right thing as a newlywed. And she emphatically disagreed with me. And so when Ted opened the pantry, I had to quickly tell him that I would go back and buy those cans again.  And that’s all that we’ve been eating ever since.

In an attempt to remind Philadelphians of Cruz’s “relatability”, Ted supporters purchased dozens of the same chunky soup to hand out to voters walking in to the Bella Vista polling station at Palumbo Recreation Center.

Megan Hicks, resident at 9th and Catharine, said: “Before making it to the entrance, one of his supporters handed me ‘Chunky Chicken’ soup.  I told them I was a vegetarian and they responded by pulling out another can and handing it to me as if they didn’t understand.  It was weird and uncomfortable.”

Other residents reported that the smell of soup was so strong, they decided against going inside to vote.  After receiving an unfavorable response, the Cruz volunteers started offering to wash cars in the microwavable “BBQ Seasoned Pork” flavor to prove to onlookers that we all have more in common than you think.

One Trusted Ted advocate was overheard exclaiming, “See! We’re just like you!” as he poured “Chunky Beef” down his shirt with a smile.

We contacted Palumbo Recreation Center who declined to comment on the matter.

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